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Hibbie facts ------->
HibsFC Jokes
A Hearts fan and a Hibs fan are involved in a bad car accident. Both cars, with football stickers on windows, are totally
demolished, but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the Hibs fan says, "So you're
a Jambo eh, that's interesting, I'm a Hibs fan. Wow! Just look at our cars. There's nothing left, but fortunately we are
unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."
The Hearts fan replied, "I agree with you completely, this must be a sign from God!" the Hearts fan continued, "And
look at this - here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of whisky didn't break. Surely God
wants us to drink this and celebrate our good fortune." Then he hands the bottle to the Hibs fan. The Hibs fan nods
his head in agreement, opens it and takes a few big swigs from the bottle, then hands it back to the Hearts fan. The Hearts
fan takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the Hibs fan. The Hibs fan asks, "Aren't
you having any?" The Hearts fan replies, "Nah, I think I'll just wait for the police to arrive..."
A
Hibs fan dies on match day and goes to heaven in his Hibs shirt. He knocks on the pearly gates and out walks St Peter in
a Hearts scarf. "Hello" says St Peter, "I'm sorry, no Hibs fans in heaven" "What?" exclaims
the man, astonished. "You heard, no Hibs fans." "But, but, I've been a good man", replies the Hibby.
"Oh really", says St Peter "What have you done, then?" "Well" said the guy, "Three
weeks before I died, I gave 10 pounds to the starving children in Africa." "Oh" says St Peter "anything
else?" "Well, 2 weeks before I died I also gave 10 pounds to the homeless" "Hmmm. Anything else?"
"Yeah. A week before I died I gave 10 pounds to the Albanian orphans." "Okay", said St. Peter, "You
wait here a minute while I have a word with the Boss." Ten minutes pass before St. Peter returns. He looks the bloke
in the eye and says, "I've had a word with God and he agrees with me. Here's your thirty quid back, now f**k off."
A teacher in a Leith Primary School explains to her class that she is a Hibs fan. She asks her pupils to raise their
hands if they are Hibs fans too. Whilst not really knowing what a Hibs fan was but wanting to be just like their teacher,
their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks. There is, however, one exception. A little girl named Lucy does
not go along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not a Hibs fan."
"Then", asks the teacher, "what are you? "Why I'm proud to be a Hearts fan," boasts the little
girl. The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Lucy why she is a Hearts fan. "Well,
my Mum and Dad are Hearts fans, and I'm a Hearts fan too." The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason,"
she says loudly, "what if your Mum was a moron, and your Dad was a moron. What would you be then?" A pause, and
a smile. "Then," says Lucy, "I'd be an Hibs fan.
Q WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A HIBEE AND
A TRAMPOLINE?
A YOU TAKE YOUR BOOTS OFF TO JUMP ON A TRAMPOLINE
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